Monday, May 7, 2012

I’ll Take “Zen Master in Training” for $200… written by Supermom

The Supermom Liberation Project is a blog written by a mom of 3 crazy high maintenance kids, whom she refers to as "The Munchkins". She is the life partner of one super-cool calm and collected Tattooed Guy who keeps her from losing her mind.

Supermom describes herself as being :
Confessed Chocoholic
Bold Word Addict 
Professional Daydreamer 
Lover of Salsa Dancing   (and Salsa eating)
World Traveler Wanna-be 
Blogger Extraordinaire
Rockstar of Life


With her blog she hopes to help moms around the world to liberate the fun, smart, sexy, awesome Supermom who is YOU!

you can visit The Supermom Liberation Project @ http://supermomliberationproject.com/

I’ll Take “Zen Master in Training” for $200… Written by Supermom

Why is it that no matter what you try to do, whether it be raise your kids as you see fit, live a life of generosity and kindness, try to get ahead in your career (or start a new one), or even travel down the path of self-reflection and improvement, there is always someone who has to voice their disapproval in an attempt to bring you down? I totally hate that – it’s one of my biggest pet-peeves!

Example: So I’m laying in bed last night after a busy day of launching my blog and I decide to check Facebook one last time before I fall asleep (mistake #1), only to find a snide comment under one of my posts left by a “friend”, who obviously does not approve of my new venture. As having “thick skin” is not one of my strong points, I lay there questioning why she would do such a thing, and in a public forum no less (mistake #2). At the same time, I did have a fan who shared my post and gave it a great review (which I am very appreciative of – THANK YOU!!), saying that she loved what I had written and was looking forward to reading more. Despite that, though, the pissy, bitchy little comment was all I could think about. For the next 20 minutes, I lay there in bed trying to figure out how to respond. Do I confront her? Do I type a pissy, bitchy message back for all to see? Or do I try to forget about it and not let it bother me (almost impossible).

Tattoo Guy (in case you haven’t read the “About” page, he is my calm, cool, and collected life partner) said “Don’t worry about it, Baby – who cares what she thinks. You’re trying to spread a message that is important to you, and probably to a lot of other women too. And, you know, she only has the power to upset you if you give it to her.” Excellent point…and after thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that he’s absolutely right. (Wow, my man is a total Zen Master in training!)

In the end, I just deleted it. No response, no confrontation, nothing. Why? Because, I realized that giving any attention to this petty b.s. would have given this woman even more power – and, after all, that’s what this was all about, right? Her slighting my work made her feel powerful; she tried to break my spirit, hurt my self-esteem, and make me feel bad, all because she didn’t like what I had to say. And, any type of negative response on my part would have just validated her statement.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because, this type of thing – criticism and judgment – is what we moms face EVERYDAY from friends, family members, acquaintances, and society in general.

This needs to stop!

Come on, Ladies – we are all women, we are all individuals who have our own values, beliefs, and identities, and we are all simply trying to the the best we can with what we have. With that being said, what if instead of putting each other down, we made a conscious, deliberate effort to start encouraging of each other? What if we put our own personal opinions and biases aside and started affirming one another? I, personally, think that would be pretty damn awesome!

I constantly hear people passing judgment: “Can you believe she did that? She should have done ________ instead. She’s gonna be sorry, just you wait and see”. To which I reply “Well, everyone has to live their own life. What’s right for you may not be right for her.” (though in my head I’m thinking WILL YOU FREAKIN’ STOP IT ALREADY! HOW ABOUT YOU STOP BEING A JUDGMENTAL PAIN IN THE ASS AND GIVE HER SOME GOD-DAMNED SUPPORT!!!) Maybe one day I’ll sum up the courage to say that out loud. Who knows, my inner self still a work in progress…

My point is we need to start being each others’ biggest cheerleaders! We need to start bonding together as a community of sisters and build each other up not cut each other down!! And we need to start right here, right now… TODAY!

Just imagine, if everyone did that, what an even more wonderful, amazing world this would be. And just imagine, if you had the support of your friends, family, and peer group, how much more you could achieve! In my life, I’ve found that frequently one of the biggest things that holds us back from being the very best we can be is fear of what other people will say – either to us or about us to others. Imagine if that was taken out of the equation entirely and you had nothing but support and encouragement. That’s the goal – let’s try to make support and positive validation of each other the norm instead of the exception.

Ok, my Supermom Lovelies, here is your next assignment: CHOOSE ONE MOM IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU INTERACT WITH ON A REGULAR BASIS AND FOR THE NEXT MONTH BE HER BIGGEST CHEERLEADER!

You know, give her a sincere compliment – tell her you like her outfit, tell her how well-mannered her kids are, or tell her what a great job she’s been doing in general. And, if she does something that makes you want to pass judgment, DON’T! Bite your tongue, take a deep breath, and realize that the things other people do, in the grand scheme of things, have NO effect on your life UNLESS YOU ALLOW THEM TO!

For one month practice being a supporter. You can do it… you know why? Because you’re a Supermom! You’ve got this; you’re in control of your emotions and you’re going to start spreading a little, extra positivity in the world! (Not to mention that you’ll be setting a great example for the kids to follow too. I’m working on this as a way to get the Munchkins to stop fighting with and tattling on each other all the time. Because frankly, their fighting and tattling drives me FREAKIN’ CRAZY!)

Until next time, Ladies – LIVE YOUR AWESOMENESS!

(oh, and don’t forget – BUCKETLISTS! … DO IT!)


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2 comments:

  1. Great tips :)

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  2. I think every community, not just moms can use this. If only we learned that to tear someone down does not rise you up, but build somebody up, maybe we can a helping hand up when we need it. WTG with taking the high road.

    ReplyDelete